Hello and happy Monday! The Monday after a holiday is always the worst. I don’t know what it is about getting a single day off of work (this moron didn’t ask off for Black Friday), but it immediately puts my brain in Holiday Break mode, which is ridiculous because I haven’t been in school for three years. Remember back in the day (Easy there, Grandpa) when you would get a month from school and you would be SO bored? I would give anything to be so bored again! I remember winter breaks when I would come home from college, and would complain to my mom and dad that I had nothing to do (the response was usually met with chores I could complete, so I quickly stopped communicating that to them), and would spend hours just mindlessly flipping through channels, or perusing Facebook (or Myspace, circa winter break 2008). You know what I would give to just have three weeks of time to waste and nothing to do (on the grounds that I’m still getting paid and this isn’t a situation where I’m unemployed and crying into a jar of peanut butter (been there too))? Well, I’d give a lot. Let’s pretend that we all live in a fantasy world where paid time off grows on trees and I have a Bill Gates salary. Now let’s pretend I have (and you too, this is an equal opportunity fantasy world, my friend) three weeks to spare this winter. Here’s what I’d do:
- I’d teach myself how to fishtail braid. At this point in my life and I am quite certain that it is physically impossible, and anyone who can fishtail braids most likely practices black magic and is a witch.
- I would watch all of those “Santa Paws” movies from the Kids and Family section on Netflix. It’s probably some D minus child acting, but I feel like watching hours upon hours of footage of puppies wearing Santa hats and solving small (if at all) misdemeanors would restore my faith in the world again.
- I’d pick up a new book series, like Game of Thrones, or the Box Car Kids (crime fighting kid aged train hobos? Yes PLEASE).
- I would finally clean up my Facebook newsfeed to where I only have two friends, but follow 50+ fan pages for rescued animals, or memes involving Mr. Bean.
- Finally organize my closet to resemble Cher from Clueless, including the computer program that picked out her outfits each morning.
- Unsubscribe from nearly every mailing list so the the “Promotional” folder in my G-Mail account can stop looking like a coupon book from Hell.
- Teach myself how to properly paint my nails, or make the “paint outside the lines” look on trend.
- I’d say organize my Pinterest boards, but come on.
- Figure out what one does to have a million dollar budget, and then take cash directly to the Property Brothers.
- Also marry both of the Property Brothers (sorry Jake).
- And then convince The Property Brothers to stop wearing form fitting designer clothes during renos because those fabrics were not meant for busting down dry wall.
I think of all of this could easily be accomplished within two to three weeks. Here’s to hoping that one day I am stupid rich (thanks to marrying into the Property Brothers dynasty. Again, sorry Jake), and can afford to vacation for a month no problem. Or maybe vacation 12 months out the year. Yes, that’s the dream.